Winter is coming

Couldn’t resist the blog title.

This week I’ve hit 12 weeks since that hot February afternoon that didn’t quite go to plan. I’m not sure where the past 3 weeks went since my appointment at the Alfred but on Thursday I was given the green light to start weight bearing on my right leg. I’d been curious about how it was going to feel. Speaking with one of the EPs at hydrotherapy, at the 12 week mark they can see some people literally stand up and walk away, whilst others have to work through a new set of challenges to get the confidence walking. I wasn’t really sure where I was going to sit on the spectrum but given it hadn’t felt too bad over the past few weeks I thought I’d be fine.

Sure enough, I took my first steps walking in the hydro pool as a warm up. I kept my shoulders in the water to keep at about 20% weight bearing so that I could practice the feeling of left/right foot forward. The hydro session went well, so the next test was physio in the afternoon. I realised I just wanted it to be over with so I decided to try walking myself down to physio using my frame. My first thoughts are that I’m slow - very slow - and my legs don’t really flow evenly. My balance is fairly average but I’m pretty much pain free aside from the odd tweak in my back and glute. So in short, I’m doing well. It’s good to be on my feet and I’m relieved that the hip seems to have healed well. I’ve constantly wondered how it would recover given I could never really see it aside from the bumps on my back so it’s reassuring to know biology has worked its wonders. It’s also nice to take the pressure off my left leg and right wrist, which had been taking a fair bit of pressure while I couldn’t use my right leg.

So here we go:

The focus for upcoming physio sessions will be on building balance and endurance so that I can transition to crutches. Once I’m up on crutches and can perform my daily activities (i.e. walk ~50-100m, sit/stand etc), it’s fairly safe to say I’ll be able to go home. I caught up briefly with my OT Monique this afternoon and we’re going to do a home visit late next week to suss out my flat and whether we’ll need to make any adjustments there before I go home. Things like bathroom equipment, kitchen trolley, kitchen stool, extra pick up sticks etc. From there, I’ll have a weekend visit at home to see how I go staying overnight and if that proves successful then I’ll be moving back home. I’ve accumulated so much stuff here, I think it’s going to take a couple of trips to get everything out.

The OTs have also been really helpful with the scar management. Over the past 12 weeks I’ve seen my two biggest gravel rash areas and my left leg scars fade away…

I need to be patient with the soft tissue recovery…time and biology, as Josh would say. My back is a bit niggly - some days it’s great, other days it gets a bit achy. Same with my wrist, it’s definitely better but will just take time to get that last bit over the line. I’ve been doing plenty of hand therapy, including using putty to build the muscles in my hand. Here’s some of my finest work…

It’s always the way that the things I expect to be hardest turn out to be easier, while the things I assume will be easy turn out to be the biggest challenges. I’ll cut straight to it and say the mental game has been without doubt the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with. It might be an understatement to say that I’m pretty over the whole situation. I find it incredibly frustrating that I’m reduced to getting “excited” about walking when only 13 weeks ago I was planning my next run/cycle/swim. I’m not the best runner, cyclist or swimmer and certainly will never pretend to be. Yet being active provides an immeasurable amount of direction, purpose and motivation for me and not being able to do it has really put pressure on my mind.

It basically comes down to me recognising that I’m angry - a word I would never have used to describe myself before. I’m angry at the driver for not taking a moment to check his mirror and I’m angry at myself for letting it get to me. I was furious to learn that one of my friends was hurt this week by a driver driving on the wrong side of the road and he’s now up for surgery too. It’s mistakes that are made at a split second, rarely intentionally, yet it’s so frustrating that sheer bad luck puts us at the receiving end. Like all the phases I guess this one will pass, I think going home will be a big part of that. The Epworth have been incredible and continue to care for me just as well as they did from Day 1, but I can feel in myself that I’m cracking a bit under the pressure.

Am I glad that I’m walking? Absolutely. Would I say that I’m excited? Definitely not, that’s a stretch. Put simply, I think the day I go home won’t be a day too soon or a day too late.

On a brighter note, I’m pretty stoked S6 Game of Thrones has come out…yep, winter is coming and so is more binge watching of various TV episodes :) I’ve also had plenty of friends with dogs visiting - here’s Haki…

Thanks as always to everyone who keeps messaging, popping in etc. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - it’s just knowing that people are “there” that helps the most and I really appreciate it beyond words.